part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
