So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
