In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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