508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
as a side note pls kill me
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
