yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
