At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
