man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
