I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
