nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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