I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
