i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
