Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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