So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
