Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better

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(951): View more from California

now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.

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(443): View more from Maryland

i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list

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(301): View more from Maryland

He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!

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(773): View more from Illinois

btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs

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(315): View more from New York

Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?

(817): View more from Texas

Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.

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(214): View more from Texas

True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like

(972): View more from Texas

Why do you text me weird shit like this?

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(585): View more from New York

Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.

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