We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize