we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
