trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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