I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
