Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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