1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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