You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The struggles of a small town man whore
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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