??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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