She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
