My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
