he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
that is very illegal...i love you.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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