I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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