I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
