he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
How does it feel to date your dad?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
