i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
