Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
