Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
