found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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