you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
