how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Randomize
