hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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