As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
