That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
