I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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