Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
