addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
this beer tastes like vomit already
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
