Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i already hear my dad disowning me
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
