Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize