hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
