4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
the liver wants what the liver wants
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
