Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
why is half of my head shaved?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
