how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize