i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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