I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
