Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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