bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
be right there i have to get my cape
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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