I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Boobs are out for the taking
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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