Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
