Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize