Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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