i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
